Perfect wedding party; five best tips how to choose

Congratulations, on your engagement. The time leading up to your nuptials is very exciting and you will probably be starting to think about different aspects of your wedding day.

Deciding to have a wedding party or not is one of the first and hardest choices you will make. So how do you decide if you want one? And if you decide to have a wedding party, who do you choose to have, without offending the people you don’t ask?

These are all really good questions and the following 5 tips will be able to help you.

Candice & Grant's Wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Brenton Cox Photography
5 Tips to help you choose your wedding party
1) Choose people you can rely on.

You need people who will be there to help you when you are both planning your wedding and then on your wedding day.

So look at family and friends that have been reliable in the past. Ones that do what they say they will do and ones that turn up on time if not early. You also want to know that when you really need help your wedding party will be there for you.

Choosing a reliable wedding party will not only cut down the ever-present stress of planning a wedding but they will also be right beside to celebrate this wonderful occasion.

Libby and Max's Wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Essjay Photography
Denise and Matt's Wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Little Image Co. Photography
2) Take into consideration personalities.

It is easy for us to love our family and friends. But when you put them in a group with people they don’t know personalities may clash. If some of your loved ones have big personalities or are not good at working in a group and you mix them together in the wedding party, it could be a recipe for drama.

Your wedding party doesn’t need to be the best of friends but they do need to get along, even if it is only on the surface. Choose people who will be able to work together. You want to have people in your wedding party who have personalities that will add to the fun and joy of your wedding experience.

Hanna and Troy's wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Matthew Harper Photography
3) Who should you avoid choosing?

There can be a lot of expectations from family and friends when choosing a wedding party. Some people may feel that they should be included in the wedding party because they are siblings, close family, best friends or because they have been in your life for years.

But this should not be the reason why you ask someone to take part in your wedding party.

I totally understand you don’t want to offend anybody by not asking them but you’ll be so much happier if you just ask the people you really want to have. And let’s face it, you can’t ask everyone.

Michelle and Scott's wedding BoxGrove with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Matthew Harper Photography
Candice & Grant's Wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Brenton Cox Photography
4) Size and Gender of the wedding party

There are no longer any rules to how many attendest you can have in your wedding party. However, you may want to consider the budget and that the number you have chosen fits into your ceremony space. You may also consider having the same number of people on each side as it looks better in photos.

Gender no longer plays a part in who you choose for your wedding party. You can have anyone you like to support you during the wedding planning and standing beside you on your wedding day. So choose the loved ones who are special to you.

Taylor & Josh's Wedding Photographer The Nomad Collective
5) Make a list

Lists are a great and fantastic way to put your thoughts down on paper. Start a list with the names of the people who you are thinking about or who you would consider being in your wedding party. Only share this list with your partner and don’t worry if the list is long, it will shorten.

Try not to rush to the process of choosing and use time, to help you decide. Catching up and chatting with the people on your list ” but not telling them they are on the list” can help you get clarity if they are right. Don’t be afraid to be harsh with cutting down the list and when you have taken someone off, leave them off or you will drive yourself crazy.

There’s no way of stopping people’s feelings from being hurt if they aren’t asked and have been expecting they would, but they will get over it. This is your day so you need to put yourself first and this is about what is best for you.

There are lots of other ways you can involve loved ones who don’t get to be a part of the wedding party. They could read a poem during the ceremony, hand you the rings, be your witnesses, control the music, greet guests as they arrive, do a speech at the reception and so much more.

Sometimes you will just need to explain that you would love to have everyone but just cant.  However, you are really excited that they will be able to join you and celebrate their union of marriage as one of their very special guests.

Sharnie & Beau's Wedding photographer Essjay Photography
Tamara & Ben's wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Brenton Cox Photography
Final Note

Choosing a wedding party can be hard. Don’t rush the decision or be pushed into asking someone you would prefer not to have in your wedding party. And don’t ask people until you are sure. It’s easy to ask but really hard to withdraw the offer.

When making your choice the most important thing to remember is this is your day so whoever you choose will be the right person.

Rachel and Arthur Kirsten Cunningham Photography
Tamara & Ben's wedding with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Brenton Cox Photography
Michelle and Scott's wedding BoxGrove with Tanya McDonald Marriage Celebrant - Matthew Harper Photography
AboutTanya McDonald
With a decade in the wedding industry and a love for weddings, I'm here to guide your journey to the altar. No matter your vision, I'll assist in creating an extraordinary day. Reach out, and let's work together for an unforgettable wedding. From the moment you entrust me as your celebrant and/or master of ceremonies, my dedication is to stand by your side at every juncture. My aim is to ensure that your journey towards your special day is adorned with cherished moments and positive encounters, culminating in a wedding day that remains etched in your memory for all the right reasons.